The real problem

Recently a work colleague showed me an article written by Jeremy Clarke, of Top Gear fame, in which he wrote that instead of driver’s tests, people should sit IQ tests. I am not a great fan of Jeremy Clarke, but I think he is spot on with this one.

The real problem facing us today, particularly on the roads, is that the human being is a rather stupid animal – and some are more stupid than others.

In days past, this was shown in some unbelievably stupid military decisions, like ordering thousands of horsemen to charge against heavy artillery. Fortunately, only a few stupid people attained that sort of power, with the majority happy to do menial work like shovelling shit out of stables.

Unfortunately, today almost everyone is able to operate sophisticated machinery in the form of motor vehicles. Something that very few have the intelligence to do. The problem has been exacerbated by high wages enabling most people to afford high performance cars. In the past, only professionals with highly paid jobs could afford them. These people were generally more intelligent, so they had some idea of how to operate them. Now, anybody who can hold a shovel in their hand can own a turbo charged high performance car – with disastrous consequences.

When you think of it, spending all your money on something you cannot legally use is a stupid thing in itself. It is like buying skis in Perth, and then complaining that the government does not provide snow for them to be used.

Most of my drive to work is on a single lane road where it is not possible to overtake. I believe that speed limits are there for a reason, so I stick to them. This infuriates many motorists who somehow feel that they know better, and I am denying them their God-given right to drive at any speed they like. I almost always pick up a tailgater – obviously a moron who is unable to foresee the possible consequences of his actions. Those with a bit of intelligence will sit on my back bumper and then fall back when they see it does not make me go any faster. The less intelligent will continue to drive close by, and show their annoyance by swaying from side to side.

The one part of my journey is the real intelligence tester. The road has two lanes for a short distance. This is where all the intellectually stunted drivers accelerate past me and normally  have to brake heavily to avoid hitting the car in front of me.

What really gets me are those that accuse speed trapping as being revenue raising. They just can’t seem to understand that you have to break the law to get fined. If you stick to the speed limits, it will never happen. I think of some speed traps as being a special tax on idiots, and am only too pleased to have someone pay some of my taxes.

Imagine what it would be like of some of these idiots were allowed to pilot a plane.  Some of their comments would be:

• “Why should I drop down to a lower altitude, all because some guy in the control tower says I must. I know how to fly this thing. Other lower powered buzz boxes can just get out of my way.”
• “If I overtake this guy taxiing in front of me by going onto the grass, I will be able to take off before him.”
• “If I sit on  this guy’s tail, he might get out of the way so that I can land in front of him.”

The IQ test for drivers will have the following questions that will immediately disqualify them from every having a driving license if they answer ‘Yes’.

1. Do you hold your steering wheel with one hand at the 12.00 o’clock position?
2. Do you drive with your fog lights one, even though there is no fog?
3. Do you intend buying a four wheel drive?
4. Do you want  personalised number plates that say “Bubba”, “Hot gear” or the like.
5. Do you think it is OK to tailgate if the driver in front is going too slowly?
6. Do you believe that the right indicator should never be used on a roundabout?

The new bus

As a primary school pupil at the convent , I had to use the bus to get to and from school. Here is reminiscence of those days. There will be more posts on this topic.

Sangoma, my elder brother used to travel with me. One evening he told me that the bus the next day would be one of the new ones. I was greatly excited because I had seen the sleek new buses driving around and really wanted to experience them.

I went to bed that night looking forward to the next morning, and could hardly sleep with the excitement of knowing that I would be travelling in a new bus the next day. In the morning, I got dressed, had breakfast and urged Sangoma to hurry up and walk with me to the bus stop.

We got to the bus stop early, but I didn’t mind the wait. I was going to travel on a new bus. Finally, the moment arrived and our bus appeared over the hill.

It was the normal old bus.

I went into denial, and reasoned that it was not our bus – even though it had all our fellow school children on it. I refused to get onto it. Sangoma was furious, and tried to drag me on, but I stood my ground. Our bus was to be a new one, so this could not be it. The bus left without us. Poor Sangoma had to stay behind as well because he did not want to leave me on my own.

I was sure that our new bus would eventually come, so we stood at the bus stop and waited – and waited. After a long time, I realised that it was not going to happen. I was devastated. We trudged home.

Our mother was understandably upset when we arrived home. She did not drive, so it did create a problem. Fortunately she managed to find someone to give us a ride to school.

It was a sad day for me, but I think it taught Sangoma a lesson not to promise things that he could not deliver.